We got some bad news

I'm not feeling the greatest as I am both physically and emotionally exhausted today, but I wanted to blog about the latest news we got concerning my husband's cancer.

He had a PET done this morning. We got the call for his results about an hour after he got home. He went outside to talk on the phone, so I was pacing the house nervously. The results did come back showing a "hot spot" where the tumor is. The Oncologist said there are different ways we can address this. His original tumors were mixed (some seminoma and a few different types of non-seminoma: carcinoma, teratoma). We were told it had a high likelihood of returning. We'll have no idea what the breakdown of this tumor is without a biopsy. The only problem is the tumor is very close to the vena cava. It wouldn't be a simple biopsy for sure and would require surgery, and there are obviously risks because of where it is. Or because of his history, do they just go ahead and start a regiment of chemotherapy? Some types don't respond to chemo, though, but it seems like they'd ultimately still try it anyway. This is new for us, though, because his last tumors were isolated and didn't require chemo. Chances are high this tumor resulted from the testicular cancer and isn't a new cancer (like lymphoma, though that IS a possibility since it's a lymph node, but not very likely). Sooo... without going into tons of details - because I'm sure you can imagine neither option is exactly pleasant - we're waiting until his appointment on Tuesday to talk to the oncologist and urologist after they have had a chance to discuss it with each other, and they'll be wanting our input as well. As if we have a clue! We have a lot of research to do and things to discuss over this wonderful 4-day weekend!

And, unfortunately, I probably won't be able to go with him to his appointment because he would be there during the time Bubs's bus come for school, and that's his first day back to school! I'm afraid of throwing a curve ball on his first day back. I know he's excited to go back either way, but it is still likely to throw off his day. And that's even if we could get a sitter who could come to our house during that time. I don't even know what anybody's schedule is anymore and who is or isn't available. It just stinks that his Dr is an hour's drive away. Yes, an hour to drive less than 20 miles. It's horrendous!

I don't know what I'm feeling right now. I know ultimately everything is in God's hands. That's what got us through this before, and that's what will get us through this again. The possibilities are unsettling, and I don't think I'm ready to think about it yet. We've actually discussed having the kids and myself move to wherever it is we plan to settle when his Med Board is over before it's even over so the kids and I will be near family and friends, and we can get them settled into something "regular." We've even discussed it may be easier because my husband always feels the need to help out even when he doesn't feel well, and we obviously wouldn't have to worry about that in that case. But the fact that his Med Board is stalled again because of these new findings and the fact that it could still take up to 9 months (the last estimate they gave him) for it to happen, we're not sure that really IS the best thing. Just more things to think about I suppose.