Wow, what a week this has been! hubby's appointment on Tuesday was totally uneventful! He was supposed to start the Med Board process to either reclass him or Med Board him out of the Army, and instead, somebody messed up and scheduled him for a diagnostic appointment. Obviously they already know what's wrong or they wouldn't have him doing Physical Therapy and all that stuff. So now his appointment isn't until July 31st! Wow. This is the same hospital that was supposed to schedule me with a Rheumatologist knowledgable about Fibromyalgia, and scheduled me with a Rheumatologist in-training instead. Refer to that blog to see how that went! *Sigh* This alone pushed hubs to almost WANT to be Med Boarded out because he's just so unhappy with the lack of care that exists here. We're still praying for what is BEST for us, though, and God's Will.
Then yesterday Bubs had his appointment with the Developmental Pediatrician. I was unable to go because we didn't have a sitter for the little princess so early in the morning. We had already discussed this, but due to the nature of (once again) the doctors not really listening or caring about what hubs had to say, he was really frustrated and told me the rest of the day he wished I had gone. Apparently the doctor asked about medical history, of course, and Joey explained his reading disorder, and the doctor insisted it was dyslexia. He NEVER had dyslexia, he had a word association disorder. It may seem similar, but it's different. But this doctor INSISTED he knows that's what it was. He also told him that toys wouldn't help Bubs calm down because apparently he was in one of his screaming, kicking, biting modes when they got there. Hubs simply replied with "wow, so you already know my son then I guess." He said he knew at that point that this doctor already had an idea in his mind and nothing he said would change it anyway.
So needless to say, I'm a little leary about anything this doctor said anyway. He diagnosed Bubs with a communication disorder and ADHD. Now, we have suspected he has some form of ADHD, but ADHD is very commonly connected to other problems, and generally if you treat those problems, the ADHD is controlled as well. But if you ONLY treat the ADHD, you're not addressing the overall issue. He did suggest we pursue further evaluation from the Child Psychiatrist to check on Childhood Onset Bipolar Disorder or possibly another mood disorder. He said Bubs is too young to diagnose anything like that, but I've heard that's generally how the process starts when a child DOES have it - they are originally diagnosed with ADHD and eventually it is found they have Bipolar Disorder as well. So I don't even know what to think. It's not like I WANT him to have something so serious! But ADHD alone is serious as well! *Sigh*
In the meantime, he wants us to think about putting Bubs on medication. Apparently, it's just slight medication to help "mellow him out," but there is no specific benefit for HIM. It would mostly benefit US as we wouldn't have to try to work around his outbursts as often. I know I have my own problems with the Fibromyalgia, but I don't want to put my 3-year old on medication just for MY benefit. I want to help HIM. The whole reason we're pursuing further evaluation is for HIS benefit. He has an appointment at Pediatrics later in July (yes a regular pediatric appointment even had to be scheduled more than 30 days out - it's terrible!), so we'll talk more about it then. We'll then at least have the Ped fill out more current EFMP paperwork for him including the ADHD diagnosis since his last batch of paperwork was considered "incomplete."
Besides, that diagnosis, they did check the PDD spectrum and decided Brayden wasn't on it, so that is good news. They did confirm he has a slight speech delay, which we obviously already know. Physically he was noted as being healthy. They said his back is straight as well, which was another concern because at one point he was being monitored for a curve in his spine. Praise the Lord that is gone! It did say his muscle tone was "slightly decreased," but that's all it mentions about that. I'm just hoping the regular pediatrician can at least decode some of this for us! Otherwise, I'll check out these websites on the handout they printed out for us.
All this being said, I know how serious ADHD can be. I've alway hated how people just throw out the term loosely like "oh, I have ADD (or ADHD)" Even before Bubs's diagnosis I didn't like this. I want to just yell at them, which is obviously out of character for me. But it's NOT funny! It's a serious disorder and people growing up with it know how hard it can be! It's harder for them to learn and maintain good social relationships. I know it can be managed, and like I said, I want to do everything possible to make sure Bubs has the best chance he can get. But I really do wish people would just stop making those statements! They DON'T have it, and they should be grateful that they don't! Shame on them for making light of a serious disorder!
As for now, we're just praying for God's guidance. I'm leaning more toward walking it out without medical intervention for now, but I will still be in prayer for God's Will. And we will be pursuing further evaluation from the child psychiatrist and go from there. In the meantime just praying for Brayden and working with him like we have been because that's the best we can do. I know God will take care of him - and us. We don't always know why these things come about, but there is always a reason and purpose. We may not know for a while what that is, but even in those moments that I doubt myself as being the "right" mom for Bubs, I KNOW God intended it this way, and I am not only the "right" mom for him, I'm the best mom for him.
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Time
Wow. Most of the time I do not understand where the time goes. All I know is I keep planning on getting this, and this, and this done, and then a week goes by and I never get it done! I try to decide how I spend most of my time, and I do get on the computer a lot, but that is because the computer is something I can go to and leave at will where as certain things are not so easy like that. Because the obvious truth is most of my time is spent tending to the kids, pup, and cat. My morning routine takes over an hour, and that doesn't even include getting dressed! That hour is spent changing diapers, getting the kids breakfast, letting the dog out, getting the dog food and water, getting the cat food and water, changing the litter box, feeding the fish, and then getting my breakfast! It doesn't seem like a long routine, but before I know it that hour has passed! And that's on a good day! On days like today where I'm super sore and not moving very well, it takes much longer! So now I'm sitting here still in PJ's looking at the list of people in my classes at work that I need to e-mail, reviewing my product order for Celebrating Home so I will have the new Fall supplies in time to have a party in July, and now thinking about what day in July will be best since we'll be moving the weekend of the 11th, and I'd need to be somewhat unpacked and decorated (at least with my Celebrating Home products anyway) before having people over. Wow. And to think I still want to start my Pea of Sweetness business is a bit overwhelming! The good news is I will be taking on a lot less of the dog training work next month as a new Full-time trainer is coming in. Phew! I seriously wonder how people do it! I try not to be so hard on myself considering right now I'm having more bad days than good as far as the pain and exhaustion from the Fibromyalgia goes. I believe at some point in time I'll "get it all together."
I think the move will help because we just had so many issues with getting settled in this house because there were so many problems, and then you throw in the stairs and the fact that I can't constantly go up and down the stairs, and things get put on the backburner. I honestly don't feel like I have an excuse for never getting fully unpacked, but it is what it is, and now it's time to start packing up again. I'm SO excited about the house we'll be moving into, and I can't wait! It will be SO much better for our family! So I think that alone will help me get motivated to get things unpacked! I still don't really have many friends here to come help me unpack and such, but at least we have a handful of guys from hubby's platoon coming to help us move our stuff!! Who knows... maybe even a few of them will help unpack if they're bored enough! haha
So I do think I'm going to start being harder on myself without being unrealistic. I still don't know my limitations fully. I do know walking in DC for a few hours was beyond my limitations! :/ But as far as getting up and going and getting things done in the house, I still don't know what is ok, and what is too much. I try to err on the side of "ok" because even one day of "too much" can make me have 2 or 3 bad days where I can't do anything! But I've been working out more regularly with the Wii Active, and the Low Intensity workouts on there seem to be perfect! I'm a little sore the next day, but that's more from the working out than the Fibromyalgia. So it's definitely a good way to get me moving again... and back in shape for that matter!
Overall, there's so much going on! As I mentioned, we move into the one-story house in 3 weeks, huba goes to the Orthopedic specialist tomorrow, and Bubs goes to the Developmental Pediatrics Wed. For hubby, he'll find out exactly how bad his knee is, at which point they'll have to re-class him because Infantry men can't have bad knees, or possibly Med Board him. We'll just have to wait and see what happens. He's currently already been put in the office, so they may just keep him there until the end of his term. So who knows? As for Bubs, we'll just be getting more insight on what's going on with him. After this evaluation, the child physchiatrist wants to see him as well. The process is slow-going, but at least we're getting somewhere!
Otherwise, there is all the silly paperwork stuff that still looms in the background! We've been here 8 months and just can't seem to get it all done! My EFMP paperwork should finally be ready to pick up, and I believe they've already put in another referral to a different rheumatologist, but I'd have to call to find out, and the kids turn into pure craziness when I try to get on the phone! We still don't have Bubs's medical records, either, which is beyond frustrating! Plus we have to re-do his EFMP because the dr he saw was well... uninformed I guess. So I have to go pick that up some time as well. I think most people would be able to get this done easily! Especially if the soldier lives on the post where he works! Man, hubs could easily get this stuff done during lunch, but since he works at a post 30+ minutes from here, it's basically impossible. I surely don't have the physical (or emotional for that matter) capability of doing all of this with the kids in tow. Whenever somebody asks us if we like this area, we simply reply with "it's unique." When what I'd really like to say is "no, I hate it. It would be great for single people, but not at all if you have a family... especially since there is no family housing where hubs works, so we HAVE to live 30+ min away. Even if it is on a military installation, it's still not convenient!" I could see how people would enjoy living on the post where their spouse works, but we don't even have that option. I think maybe living in a neighborhood that is not its own little neighborhood not even connected to post will be better, and I'm really looking forward to it, but it would still be easier to get things done if Joey actually worked here. But hey, as far as some people are concerned, I should just "deal with it" despite having this pain and exhaustion and just get it all done myself with the kids in tow. Besides, military wives do it all the time, right? *Sigh*
And yes, we have decided we do still want to have another baby. After having a few weeks to think about things and throw around so many emotions, it totally hit me yesterday that I can't imagine NOT having another baby. I can't imagine not being pregnant again and just experiencing pregnancy again. My heart aches for others that have lost babies and those that have not been able to conceive yet because I know this must be what they're feeling as well! Though I've had some insensitive people say "well, at least you have one of each, so you don't have to have another one." I'm sure they mean well, but that really doesn't help. In fact, I feel it takes from the baby we lost recently and even our other angel baby as well. They are special to us and we love them very much despite having our two children! Of course we have to focus on Bubs and the little Princess, but it doesn't mean we don't have the capacity to miss and love our angel babies! I know some people just don't know what to say, and that's ok, but please don't make light of the situation. Just because we already have two children doesn't mean we feel our family is "complete." I believe God gives everyone different desires as far as family size, and our desire is to have more than 2 children. I guess people can argue with me if they'd like, but I continue to pray and I know God's Will will be done whether that is for us to have another child or maybe not. Either way, we're not running out to buy ovulation tests or anything like that! We're just going to let it happen when and if it may. In the meantime, I am working out more regularly and just making sure I take care of myself in general! And the little Princess finally stopped nursing!! So there one less stress off my body!!
And that's all I have for now because I have to get these e-mails sent out and get the kids their lunch. We haven't been able to do much because it seems Caprice has severe separation anxiety, and it's gotten ugly. I try not to be too hard on myself since it is just that - anxiety - and not a obedience training issue. Her training is spotless unless she gets anxious. She even randomly gets nervous about hubs and will not go near him! He's never done anything to her, but she was just that traumatized before we got her at 12 weeks! It's so sad! So, we're doing what we can to work with it and just praying it gets better so we can have some more freedom again! Yep, off to e-mail!
I think the move will help because we just had so many issues with getting settled in this house because there were so many problems, and then you throw in the stairs and the fact that I can't constantly go up and down the stairs, and things get put on the backburner. I honestly don't feel like I have an excuse for never getting fully unpacked, but it is what it is, and now it's time to start packing up again. I'm SO excited about the house we'll be moving into, and I can't wait! It will be SO much better for our family! So I think that alone will help me get motivated to get things unpacked! I still don't really have many friends here to come help me unpack and such, but at least we have a handful of guys from hubby's platoon coming to help us move our stuff!! Who knows... maybe even a few of them will help unpack if they're bored enough! haha
So I do think I'm going to start being harder on myself without being unrealistic. I still don't know my limitations fully. I do know walking in DC for a few hours was beyond my limitations! :/ But as far as getting up and going and getting things done in the house, I still don't know what is ok, and what is too much. I try to err on the side of "ok" because even one day of "too much" can make me have 2 or 3 bad days where I can't do anything! But I've been working out more regularly with the Wii Active, and the Low Intensity workouts on there seem to be perfect! I'm a little sore the next day, but that's more from the working out than the Fibromyalgia. So it's definitely a good way to get me moving again... and back in shape for that matter!
Overall, there's so much going on! As I mentioned, we move into the one-story house in 3 weeks, huba goes to the Orthopedic specialist tomorrow, and Bubs goes to the Developmental Pediatrics Wed. For hubby, he'll find out exactly how bad his knee is, at which point they'll have to re-class him because Infantry men can't have bad knees, or possibly Med Board him. We'll just have to wait and see what happens. He's currently already been put in the office, so they may just keep him there until the end of his term. So who knows? As for Bubs, we'll just be getting more insight on what's going on with him. After this evaluation, the child physchiatrist wants to see him as well. The process is slow-going, but at least we're getting somewhere!
Otherwise, there is all the silly paperwork stuff that still looms in the background! We've been here 8 months and just can't seem to get it all done! My EFMP paperwork should finally be ready to pick up, and I believe they've already put in another referral to a different rheumatologist, but I'd have to call to find out, and the kids turn into pure craziness when I try to get on the phone! We still don't have Bubs's medical records, either, which is beyond frustrating! Plus we have to re-do his EFMP because the dr he saw was well... uninformed I guess. So I have to go pick that up some time as well. I think most people would be able to get this done easily! Especially if the soldier lives on the post where he works! Man, hubs could easily get this stuff done during lunch, but since he works at a post 30+ minutes from here, it's basically impossible. I surely don't have the physical (or emotional for that matter) capability of doing all of this with the kids in tow. Whenever somebody asks us if we like this area, we simply reply with "it's unique." When what I'd really like to say is "no, I hate it. It would be great for single people, but not at all if you have a family... especially since there is no family housing where hubs works, so we HAVE to live 30+ min away. Even if it is on a military installation, it's still not convenient!" I could see how people would enjoy living on the post where their spouse works, but we don't even have that option. I think maybe living in a neighborhood that is not its own little neighborhood not even connected to post will be better, and I'm really looking forward to it, but it would still be easier to get things done if Joey actually worked here. But hey, as far as some people are concerned, I should just "deal with it" despite having this pain and exhaustion and just get it all done myself with the kids in tow. Besides, military wives do it all the time, right? *Sigh*
And yes, we have decided we do still want to have another baby. After having a few weeks to think about things and throw around so many emotions, it totally hit me yesterday that I can't imagine NOT having another baby. I can't imagine not being pregnant again and just experiencing pregnancy again. My heart aches for others that have lost babies and those that have not been able to conceive yet because I know this must be what they're feeling as well! Though I've had some insensitive people say "well, at least you have one of each, so you don't have to have another one." I'm sure they mean well, but that really doesn't help. In fact, I feel it takes from the baby we lost recently and even our other angel baby as well. They are special to us and we love them very much despite having our two children! Of course we have to focus on Bubs and the little Princess, but it doesn't mean we don't have the capacity to miss and love our angel babies! I know some people just don't know what to say, and that's ok, but please don't make light of the situation. Just because we already have two children doesn't mean we feel our family is "complete." I believe God gives everyone different desires as far as family size, and our desire is to have more than 2 children. I guess people can argue with me if they'd like, but I continue to pray and I know God's Will will be done whether that is for us to have another child or maybe not. Either way, we're not running out to buy ovulation tests or anything like that! We're just going to let it happen when and if it may. In the meantime, I am working out more regularly and just making sure I take care of myself in general! And the little Princess finally stopped nursing!! So there one less stress off my body!!
And that's all I have for now because I have to get these e-mails sent out and get the kids their lunch. We haven't been able to do much because it seems Caprice has severe separation anxiety, and it's gotten ugly. I try not to be too hard on myself since it is just that - anxiety - and not a obedience training issue. Her training is spotless unless she gets anxious. She even randomly gets nervous about hubs and will not go near him! He's never done anything to her, but she was just that traumatized before we got her at 12 weeks! It's so sad! So, we're doing what we can to work with it and just praying it gets better so we can have some more freedom again! Yep, off to e-mail!
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Wow... so much going on
There has been SO much going on lately. We lost the baby on June 2nd, and that has just been devastating. To take on all the other stuff that's been going on as well has just been physically and mentally exhausting. I will post more when I can.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Sooo tired
Wow, so I don't know if it's the combination of the pregnancy and Fibro or just the pregnancy itself, but I'm EXHAUSTED. Sleepiness is kicking my butt! I don't even know how I'm functioning right now! haha I'm going to try to get stuff clean while I still have some energy, though! So I must return to blog later!
Friday, May 22, 2009
Never a dull moment
Wow, so yesterday was just absolutely crazy! I was anticipating my appointment with the rheumatologist so I could get started on treatment for my fibromyalgia and update my EFMP paperwork and *finally* get my part of the letter to request the one-story housing on post. I was going to leave as soon as Bubs's teacher got here, though I was dreading the drive to the particular hospital for my appointment because I despise driving downtown. Plus I've been a little light-headed from not having been able to take my Zoloft. Hubby went to pick it up at the pharmacy, and they were out! I finally got some more today!
Well, luckily, I ended up not having to drive to the hospital because Bubs's teacher was sick, so she didn't come over yesterday, so we all went downtown. That means hubby drove. :) Getting out of the house tends to be a bit hectic as it is, but for whatever reason it seemed even more so yesterday morning. We stopped at Burger King to get a bite to eat, and they messed up our order so bad we just said forget it and left, so I didn't eat until after my appointment! I was starving!! I managed to only be like 5 min late, though, and that's like a record for me for any appt at that hospital. We already learned to just have hubs drop me off at the door instead of trying to find parking. That is a nightmare!!
So hubby decides to just drive around post with the kids while I have my appt. I wasn't in the waiting room very long, so overall things were going well. I honestly wasn't sure how they were going to approach things since I had just found out I was expecting because that would obviously limit any medications they may prescribe, but my PCM told me the rheumatologists at this hospital are better despite the drive downtown, so I trust him. But wow, was I ever disappointed!! Maybe some of them are good, but the particular gentleman I saw was basically insesitive to Fibromyalgia, fairly ignorant about the condition, clueless about EFMP or applying for one-story housing (all I needed was the paperwork filled out a letter saying it's hard for me to go up and down the stairs all the time!), and here's the kicker - not even a rheumatologist yet!! So he takes all his findings to his superviser and says yes, you have Fibro. I already know I have it because my PCM already diagnosed it! Well, he said his job was to confirm the diagnosis, and now I should do everything else with my PCM. How frustrating! I drove all that way for him to tell me what I already knew!? And he wouldn't even fill out the stinkin EFMP paperwork! When I asked him about the letter, he said he'd leave that up to my PCM as well because he doesn't think having Fibro should qualify anybody for one-level housing since it doesn't actually do damage to their joints. Ok... but there are still days I can barely walk, and that's ok!? I have done my research on Fibro, and from what I understand some people that are no longer able to work full-time are considered to have a disability! So how is that not important!? He basically feels it's just a "collection of symptoms" a handful of people have, but that it's not very "real." Then he proceeds to tell me I'm going to have pain for the rest of my life. Ok, so why am I going to have pain for the rest of my life if I have a condition that isn't "real?" I seriously just wanted to cry because of my frustration.
Obviously, I was prescribed no medication due to the pregnancy, which is another thing he knew nothing about. This was obviously a young, single guy with no kids. I should have guessed this would be interesting when I saw the bottle of liquor in his office! So his recommendation? Go back to my PCM and let him take care of everything. Exercise almost every day... even though I explained I can't afford childcare to go to the gym. He said I should just take a walk and put the kids in the stroller... which is fine when the kids WANT to be in the stroller, which is rare. Aurora particularly hates it. But there was no sense in explaining that anymore. I even tried to explain my situation of having one child that has special needs and constantly having to deal with his behavior (and the stairs for his time-outs), and that was pointless, too. So, I still don't have a letter for housing as to why we need one-level housing on my end. *Sigh*
That being said, I DID turn in paperwork from Bubs's counselor saying why she recommends one-level housing for our family due to his nature to not always comprehend "reality" and the dangers he poses to himself and the little Princess (and me, even) when he has one of his aggressive tantrums. So we decided to check on it to see where it is in the process. We called up to our neighborhood office because apparently they are the ones that deal w/it first. Well, the lady said the manager was out of the office and would be back later. We call again shortly before closing time because we want to get this done. We're then told she is out of town for a couple of weeks! (Yeah, well, we just saw her posting a sign in the neighborhood this morning, so whatever.) So, we go straight to the main housing office where it is discovered that our paperwork has been lost. No surprise. That's why I made a copy! So now we're handling it directly with them. They've processed it mostly at this point and are just waiting on updated DEERS info from us, so I'll make sure we have that by Tues! I'm even going to see if they're open tomorrow! The pregnancy poses an interesting situation because we *can* qualify for a 4 bedroom, but we could also accept a 3 bedroom if that comes available first. Since the kids will all be close in age, I don't see a big deal with room sharing anyway! So we'll just see how it all goes. I'm just putting it in God's hands! I don't even have medical proof of the pregnancy yet because my first appt isn't until June 4th, but hopefully if it's necessary, we can at least run in there to get the bloodwork and print-out done for that.
So yeah, exhausting, frustrating day yesterday. I do feel like I'm in a world that people don't understand. I'm sure you can guess we're getting raised eyebrows about having another child. Honestly, are people expected to just stop having children because one of their children has special needs or because they have a medical condition that *can* be managed with the right help? I'm already limited by my heart history! I'm not supposed to have children after I turn 30. That's only a couple more years, so more than likely this baby will be our last! So I'm already limited! Yeah, I know some people think 2 is enough, so surely 3 is enough, but admittedly, I'd like 4. Maybe we will adopt a 4th in the future. I don't know. I enjoy so much the blessing and miracle of conception through birth, and I admit I do somewhat feel robbed. I'm already robbed by the c-section thing! But it doesn't make it any less amazing! And having high-demand children may be trying but doesn't make you love them any less. I'm EXTREMELY happy that we'll be having another blessing, and I'm just praying for a healthy pregnancy!
And now, I must tend to the kiddos and get dinner ready! I'm pretty hungry, too! hehe Still not sure what we'll eat, though...
Well, luckily, I ended up not having to drive to the hospital because Bubs's teacher was sick, so she didn't come over yesterday, so we all went downtown. That means hubby drove. :) Getting out of the house tends to be a bit hectic as it is, but for whatever reason it seemed even more so yesterday morning. We stopped at Burger King to get a bite to eat, and they messed up our order so bad we just said forget it and left, so I didn't eat until after my appointment! I was starving!! I managed to only be like 5 min late, though, and that's like a record for me for any appt at that hospital. We already learned to just have hubs drop me off at the door instead of trying to find parking. That is a nightmare!!
So hubby decides to just drive around post with the kids while I have my appt. I wasn't in the waiting room very long, so overall things were going well. I honestly wasn't sure how they were going to approach things since I had just found out I was expecting because that would obviously limit any medications they may prescribe, but my PCM told me the rheumatologists at this hospital are better despite the drive downtown, so I trust him. But wow, was I ever disappointed!! Maybe some of them are good, but the particular gentleman I saw was basically insesitive to Fibromyalgia, fairly ignorant about the condition, clueless about EFMP or applying for one-story housing (all I needed was the paperwork filled out a letter saying it's hard for me to go up and down the stairs all the time!), and here's the kicker - not even a rheumatologist yet!! So he takes all his findings to his superviser and says yes, you have Fibro. I already know I have it because my PCM already diagnosed it! Well, he said his job was to confirm the diagnosis, and now I should do everything else with my PCM. How frustrating! I drove all that way for him to tell me what I already knew!? And he wouldn't even fill out the stinkin EFMP paperwork! When I asked him about the letter, he said he'd leave that up to my PCM as well because he doesn't think having Fibro should qualify anybody for one-level housing since it doesn't actually do damage to their joints. Ok... but there are still days I can barely walk, and that's ok!? I have done my research on Fibro, and from what I understand some people that are no longer able to work full-time are considered to have a disability! So how is that not important!? He basically feels it's just a "collection of symptoms" a handful of people have, but that it's not very "real." Then he proceeds to tell me I'm going to have pain for the rest of my life. Ok, so why am I going to have pain for the rest of my life if I have a condition that isn't "real?" I seriously just wanted to cry because of my frustration.
Obviously, I was prescribed no medication due to the pregnancy, which is another thing he knew nothing about. This was obviously a young, single guy with no kids. I should have guessed this would be interesting when I saw the bottle of liquor in his office! So his recommendation? Go back to my PCM and let him take care of everything. Exercise almost every day... even though I explained I can't afford childcare to go to the gym. He said I should just take a walk and put the kids in the stroller... which is fine when the kids WANT to be in the stroller, which is rare. Aurora particularly hates it. But there was no sense in explaining that anymore. I even tried to explain my situation of having one child that has special needs and constantly having to deal with his behavior (and the stairs for his time-outs), and that was pointless, too. So, I still don't have a letter for housing as to why we need one-level housing on my end. *Sigh*
That being said, I DID turn in paperwork from Bubs's counselor saying why she recommends one-level housing for our family due to his nature to not always comprehend "reality" and the dangers he poses to himself and the little Princess (and me, even) when he has one of his aggressive tantrums. So we decided to check on it to see where it is in the process. We called up to our neighborhood office because apparently they are the ones that deal w/it first. Well, the lady said the manager was out of the office and would be back later. We call again shortly before closing time because we want to get this done. We're then told she is out of town for a couple of weeks! (Yeah, well, we just saw her posting a sign in the neighborhood this morning, so whatever.) So, we go straight to the main housing office where it is discovered that our paperwork has been lost. No surprise. That's why I made a copy! So now we're handling it directly with them. They've processed it mostly at this point and are just waiting on updated DEERS info from us, so I'll make sure we have that by Tues! I'm even going to see if they're open tomorrow! The pregnancy poses an interesting situation because we *can* qualify for a 4 bedroom, but we could also accept a 3 bedroom if that comes available first. Since the kids will all be close in age, I don't see a big deal with room sharing anyway! So we'll just see how it all goes. I'm just putting it in God's hands! I don't even have medical proof of the pregnancy yet because my first appt isn't until June 4th, but hopefully if it's necessary, we can at least run in there to get the bloodwork and print-out done for that.
So yeah, exhausting, frustrating day yesterday. I do feel like I'm in a world that people don't understand. I'm sure you can guess we're getting raised eyebrows about having another child. Honestly, are people expected to just stop having children because one of their children has special needs or because they have a medical condition that *can* be managed with the right help? I'm already limited by my heart history! I'm not supposed to have children after I turn 30. That's only a couple more years, so more than likely this baby will be our last! So I'm already limited! Yeah, I know some people think 2 is enough, so surely 3 is enough, but admittedly, I'd like 4. Maybe we will adopt a 4th in the future. I don't know. I enjoy so much the blessing and miracle of conception through birth, and I admit I do somewhat feel robbed. I'm already robbed by the c-section thing! But it doesn't make it any less amazing! And having high-demand children may be trying but doesn't make you love them any less. I'm EXTREMELY happy that we'll be having another blessing, and I'm just praying for a healthy pregnancy!
And now, I must tend to the kiddos and get dinner ready! I'm pretty hungry, too! hehe Still not sure what we'll eat, though...
Monday, May 11, 2009
Now I remember...
I now remember why I don't blog much. I don't have much time! Taking care of 2 active kids during the day plus an 8 month old pup and a cat is just SO time-consuming! Add onto that a part-time job where they expect you to teach enough classes to be a full-time trainer, and it's just about enough to drive one insane! Especially one like me! LOL
On a fun note, my BFF (and the kids' Godmother) is coming to visit me this week!! I can't believe I just used the term "BFF." LOL I feel like I'm in high school again or something! Seriously, though, on Friday night I'm all glammed up for the Old Guard ball and somebody asked to verify that I was over 18!!! For one, I'm his WIFE, and most people get married after they turn 18. I know there are exceptions, but seriously! Yeah, add 10 years to that! LOL For two, I'm even older than hubby! I admit it sometimes is flattering when people say I look like I'm in my early 20's, but under 18!? That's just frustrating!
I plan on typing more about going to the ball whenever I have more free time, but for now, I would really like to play some WoW. I don't get to play enough, and I really want to get Xandrei to level 80!!! I'm at 78 1/2! haha So, I'm off to do that now!
On a fun note, my BFF (and the kids' Godmother) is coming to visit me this week!! I can't believe I just used the term "BFF." LOL I feel like I'm in high school again or something! Seriously, though, on Friday night I'm all glammed up for the Old Guard ball and somebody asked to verify that I was over 18!!! For one, I'm his WIFE, and most people get married after they turn 18. I know there are exceptions, but seriously! Yeah, add 10 years to that! LOL For two, I'm even older than hubby! I admit it sometimes is flattering when people say I look like I'm in my early 20's, but under 18!? That's just frustrating!
I plan on typing more about going to the ball whenever I have more free time, but for now, I would really like to play some WoW. I don't get to play enough, and I really want to get Xandrei to level 80!!! I'm at 78 1/2! haha So, I'm off to do that now!
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Finally
I'm finally going to take the time to post a little something. Not much, though. I'm SOOOO busy! Basically, my house is crap in SO many ways. It's just a bad place in general, so I admit I actually lack motivation to keep it nice because no matter how hard I try it looks gross. I mean seriously, we have squirrels in the attic and a big hole in the wall because they had patched up a previous hole with CARDBOARD! What did they expect? All it took was our big pup and her lack of coordination to slide into the wall (because we have ALL linoleum floors - yes, the ENTIRE house), and boom, the hole instantly reopens. My biggest concern was that Caprice (the pup) would then chew and make the hole bigger, but actually the kids play in it!! It's awful! Last time maintenance was here they said they'd fix it, but that never happened. This is the worst place ever. But, it's what we have right now, so I better just suck it up and deal with it. We've looked at some rentals, but we can't afford a place in this area on a PFC's salary! I mean seriously, a 1 bedroom place can be almost $1800, and we need at least a 3 bedroom!
Everybody thinks we're absolutely nuts, but we do want to have another baby. I believe in God's timing, and we aren't actively tracking my ovulation or anything, but we're just believing it will happen when God plans for it to happen, and He will take care of us. He always has! We surely never expected to be able to "afford" Brayden, but we've survived... and so has he! haha :)
We're currently trying to get into ADA housing for my Fibromyalgia and because of Bubs's aggressive tendencies. It's hard enough for me to go up and down the stairs when I'm having a bad day, but it worries me even more what Bubs might do with the stairs when he is having a "bad" day. When he's in "the zone" as I call it because he seriously slips off into his own little world when he has one of his episodes, he will knock down anybody or anything near him with extreme force and not even notice it! I honestly don't even think he notices he did it! The little Princess will be by him crying, and I go to pick her up, and I try to address the situation with him and it's like it doesn't even register. Then I work on getting him to cool off until he's out of "the zone," putting my own physical well-being in harm. I'm extremely sensitive to pain. Something as simple as someone leaning their arm on me can hurt tremendously, so when you have a 3 year old in a pure rage hitting, kicking, biting, head butting, etc., it can be more than a little overwhelming. I've even tried counting, which only sent him further into his rage. So I'm going to try this "1-2-3 Magic" method the child counselor recommended and time him out to his room (after he fights me to get there I'm sure) and see how it goes.
Most people want to blame it (as well as his speech delay) on parenting. That used to bother me, but you know, they can believe what they want because I know the truth. I feel better knowing the little Princess is already putting together 2 word sentences. She does act out a bit, but I believe it's a learned behavior because she sees her big brother doing it all the time! I'm a little skeptical at trying another new parenting method, but I always am. I mean, I've tried EVERYTHING! It's becoming obvious there is something going on. I have also been advised to read "Is my Child Bipolar?" It honestly never crossed my mind. I mean seriously, who would even think of a 3 year old being bipolar!? Little did I know for one, it's extremely genetic, and for two, more than one male in hubby's immediate family has it. *Sigh* So I researched, and I was in tears! Some of it was relief that maybe this wasn't all in my head and that maybe his behavior really IS beyond my control. Some of it was sheer grief because well, it's not exactly a good thing to have! I know intervention can make a huge difference, so we're working with what we have. We have an appt to get an IEP going with the county, but they're basically only looking at his speech. They never saw a behavior issue, which if it really is COBPD (Childhood Onset Bipolar Disorder), that would make total sense! Now it is seriously all clicking! He doesn't ALWAYS have bad moments. He has perfectly good moments where he is the nicest, politest little boy! I LOVE the good moments! His good moments are REALLY good, and his bad moments are REALLY bad.
As of now, though, housing doesn't really care to work with us. They're more than willing to throw is in an ADA house (one-story living) in another older village. We're in the worst neighborhood right now. We live on-post, but not really. It's hard to explain, but basically we have our own gate, and to even go anywhere "on-post," we have to leave our neighborhood, drive 5 min, and go in another gate. It's rediculous. So, I guess it can't be worse than this, but I'd really like a fenced in yard so Bubs and the little Princess can get out their energy outside when it's nice out, and I don't have to chase them all over and exhaust (and hurt) myself. Plus the more stressed I get, the worse the pain gets. And chasing the kids is really stressful for me. I honestly just hate that people don't understand! They just act like I'm being rediculous or whatever. I've seriously had people lecture me over not wanting to go hang out with them at the park and *relax* and watch the kids. If it's not fenced, there is NO relaxing. My kids will run. Period. They LOVE to run! I've tried to take them outside just in the common areas of the yard and got exhausted after 10 min because the little Princess kept going straight for the road... then Bubs would follow. Caprice was the only one that stayed beside me even without her leash! At least I have one of them trained! LOL
But that is a typical day for me. Dealing with the ups and downs. Trying to get out of the house while staying sane. It's almost impossible because staying in the house drives us all a little crazy, too! Then working part-time around hubby's schedule. I feel like I never get a break! I need to go shopping tonight, though, because the Old Guard Ball is on Friday, and I still need shoes! Plus I still haven't been able to find the perfect gift for my Secret Sister on CMW! I have some of it, but I'm missing that perfect piece! So I'm hoping for a good shopping trip (without the kids) tonight, since it's my night off. I also still need to plan a time to go get my nails and hair done on Friday as well. I have 2 appts that day - one with the child counselor and one with a psychiatrist for me. Apparently the "blah" moods go along with the Fibro, but the psych can still help with any meds they may think I need as far as that goes. I'm still on Zoloft from when I had the little Princess, and that still seems to be ok.
So... another fun-filled, busy week! And the kids decided to tag-team me today and stagger their naps! I just heard the little Princess get up, so I'm going to put Bubs down for his nap! I'm hoping since at least it's only one at a time I can still get a decent amount of cleaning done. I'd be so embarrassed if the place still looks awful for the sitter on Friday night! I'm sure he won't care, but I do!! I'm silly like that I guess! This house just bums me out anyway. *Sigh* So we're praying, praying, praying that the ADA housing will work out for us and we'll get a decent one-story house on post! Off to clean!
Everybody thinks we're absolutely nuts, but we do want to have another baby. I believe in God's timing, and we aren't actively tracking my ovulation or anything, but we're just believing it will happen when God plans for it to happen, and He will take care of us. He always has! We surely never expected to be able to "afford" Brayden, but we've survived... and so has he! haha :)
We're currently trying to get into ADA housing for my Fibromyalgia and because of Bubs's aggressive tendencies. It's hard enough for me to go up and down the stairs when I'm having a bad day, but it worries me even more what Bubs might do with the stairs when he is having a "bad" day. When he's in "the zone" as I call it because he seriously slips off into his own little world when he has one of his episodes, he will knock down anybody or anything near him with extreme force and not even notice it! I honestly don't even think he notices he did it! The little Princess will be by him crying, and I go to pick her up, and I try to address the situation with him and it's like it doesn't even register. Then I work on getting him to cool off until he's out of "the zone," putting my own physical well-being in harm. I'm extremely sensitive to pain. Something as simple as someone leaning their arm on me can hurt tremendously, so when you have a 3 year old in a pure rage hitting, kicking, biting, head butting, etc., it can be more than a little overwhelming. I've even tried counting, which only sent him further into his rage. So I'm going to try this "1-2-3 Magic" method the child counselor recommended and time him out to his room (after he fights me to get there I'm sure) and see how it goes.
Most people want to blame it (as well as his speech delay) on parenting. That used to bother me, but you know, they can believe what they want because I know the truth. I feel better knowing the little Princess is already putting together 2 word sentences. She does act out a bit, but I believe it's a learned behavior because she sees her big brother doing it all the time! I'm a little skeptical at trying another new parenting method, but I always am. I mean, I've tried EVERYTHING! It's becoming obvious there is something going on. I have also been advised to read "Is my Child Bipolar?" It honestly never crossed my mind. I mean seriously, who would even think of a 3 year old being bipolar!? Little did I know for one, it's extremely genetic, and for two, more than one male in hubby's immediate family has it. *Sigh* So I researched, and I was in tears! Some of it was relief that maybe this wasn't all in my head and that maybe his behavior really IS beyond my control. Some of it was sheer grief because well, it's not exactly a good thing to have! I know intervention can make a huge difference, so we're working with what we have. We have an appt to get an IEP going with the county, but they're basically only looking at his speech. They never saw a behavior issue, which if it really is COBPD (Childhood Onset Bipolar Disorder), that would make total sense! Now it is seriously all clicking! He doesn't ALWAYS have bad moments. He has perfectly good moments where he is the nicest, politest little boy! I LOVE the good moments! His good moments are REALLY good, and his bad moments are REALLY bad.
As of now, though, housing doesn't really care to work with us. They're more than willing to throw is in an ADA house (one-story living) in another older village. We're in the worst neighborhood right now. We live on-post, but not really. It's hard to explain, but basically we have our own gate, and to even go anywhere "on-post," we have to leave our neighborhood, drive 5 min, and go in another gate. It's rediculous. So, I guess it can't be worse than this, but I'd really like a fenced in yard so Bubs and the little Princess can get out their energy outside when it's nice out, and I don't have to chase them all over and exhaust (and hurt) myself. Plus the more stressed I get, the worse the pain gets. And chasing the kids is really stressful for me. I honestly just hate that people don't understand! They just act like I'm being rediculous or whatever. I've seriously had people lecture me over not wanting to go hang out with them at the park and *relax* and watch the kids. If it's not fenced, there is NO relaxing. My kids will run. Period. They LOVE to run! I've tried to take them outside just in the common areas of the yard and got exhausted after 10 min because the little Princess kept going straight for the road... then Bubs would follow. Caprice was the only one that stayed beside me even without her leash! At least I have one of them trained! LOL
But that is a typical day for me. Dealing with the ups and downs. Trying to get out of the house while staying sane. It's almost impossible because staying in the house drives us all a little crazy, too! Then working part-time around hubby's schedule. I feel like I never get a break! I need to go shopping tonight, though, because the Old Guard Ball is on Friday, and I still need shoes! Plus I still haven't been able to find the perfect gift for my Secret Sister on CMW! I have some of it, but I'm missing that perfect piece! So I'm hoping for a good shopping trip (without the kids) tonight, since it's my night off. I also still need to plan a time to go get my nails and hair done on Friday as well. I have 2 appts that day - one with the child counselor and one with a psychiatrist for me. Apparently the "blah" moods go along with the Fibro, but the psych can still help with any meds they may think I need as far as that goes. I'm still on Zoloft from when I had the little Princess, and that still seems to be ok.
So... another fun-filled, busy week! And the kids decided to tag-team me today and stagger their naps! I just heard the little Princess get up, so I'm going to put Bubs down for his nap! I'm hoping since at least it's only one at a time I can still get a decent amount of cleaning done. I'd be so embarrassed if the place still looks awful for the sitter on Friday night! I'm sure he won't care, but I do!! I'm silly like that I guess! This house just bums me out anyway. *Sigh* So we're praying, praying, praying that the ADA housing will work out for us and we'll get a decent one-story house on post! Off to clean!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)