Our 5th Anniversary

Wow, I can't believe it's been 5 years!! And what a blessed 5 years it has been! I'm sure some people could look at it and say we've definitely faced many challenges in our 5 years of marriage, but I just feel blessed that we had each other to face those challenges with - together! There was even a time I feared the challenges would tear us apart, but God has been faithful to keep us strong for each other and for our kids. After 5 years I am still so in love with my husband, and I look forward to being in love with him for many more years!!

We celebrated our anniversary a day early by going to Medieval Times. It was SO much fun, and a much needed date night out! The food was fantastic, the entertainment was well, entertaining, and the experience was awesome. We went all out because well, the 5 year mark is a big deal, right!? We got the "Royal Package," which included front row seats, and we even got a special announcement package where they announced our anniversary during the show, and after it we got "knighted" by the king. What a blast! The kids quickly claimed the flags and the paper crowns when we got home! haha What a very special day! I try hard not to take any days for granted and cherish all the moments!

I know I haven't yet updated on my husband's oncologist appointment. This past week we have just been having so much fun! haha And, well, I don't exactly know how to explain it to where it doesn't sound a bit odd. Basically we were presented with three options: biopsy the tumor, perform chemo without a biopsy, or wait to perform another PET scan. Options in detail to follow:

Biopsy the tumor to make sure 100% that it is a mixed germ cell tumor (mixed germ cell is typical of testicular cancer, and although my husband's make-up was slightly different than the "average" mixed germ cell tumor, it was a mixed germ cell nonetheless), although it can very likely be assumed this tumor is from the spread of his testicular cancer given the location (it just happens to be one of the lymph nodes the doctor didn't choose to remove during his RPLND) and history. It kind of makes sense that since the lymph nodes were NOT affected at the time of the RPLND they wouldn't remove that one due to the fact that it is right by the vena cava. That alone poses a risk. So a biopsy would pose TWO risks - one being the location, and the other being they would basically have to perform almost the exact same surgery as the RPLND to get to it! He is already having complications from his RPLND, and such a surgery is guaranteed to make them worse. Ultimately, this did not sound like a good option, and EVERY doctor called to discuss his case suggested NOT to pursue this option.

So, option number two was chemotherapy with the assumption that this truly is a germ cell tumor as a direct result of the testicular cancer. The oncologist as well as the urologist are fairly confident that's exactly what this is, and if that is the case, it would be very sensitive to chemotherapy and would be gone in 3 treatments. (3 treatments of 5 days in a row of chemo, 3 weeks off.) But there is a small chance it is a *different* type of cancer such as a lymphoma. Given his age and history, this would be almost a ridiculous notion, but there's always that "maybe." And not ALL cancers do respond to chemotherapy, so if that is the case, he'd be getting it for no good reason. Because there are risks with chemotherapy (such as a terminal form of leukemia that cannot be cured), the question was if this should happen 10 years down the road would he question that decision to just jump into the chemotherapy without actually knowing if that was the answer - or worse - that it is a different cancer, and the chemo didn't even work on it AND the side effects were for nothing.

So option #3. WAIT. And this is where it seems a little funny. And I mean funny like odd, not like haha funny. Basically the thought is if we wait a few more weeks a couple things could happen - the tumor gets bigger but is still unaccessible or the tumor gets big enough that the cancer cells have to find another home - preferably somewhere with easy access for a biopsy so they do know exactly where it is. Because they are fairly confident this is a mixed germ cell tumor we're dealing with, spreading isn't as scary as it sounds because of how sensitive it is to chemo. In fact, the treatment regiment would still be exactly the same. Now if it doesn't spread but has still gotten bigger, chemo will probably still be recommended. But at least at that point we will know we would've waited to make sure we did everything we could before just going for the chemo. It's very possible they'll suggest waiting again. We'll cross that bridge when we get there. But yes, for now, we wait. He will repeat his PET scan on Sept 30th.

And so there is always option #4. God's healing touch. According to my faith I absolutely believe in God's healing powers. But I also believe in praying for God's Will. I believe God heals people in different ways for His glory. My husband and I have talked a lot about the subject. I mean how can you not when I have Fibromyalgia, our oldest son is on the Autism spectrum, and his cancer? We have had many of our friends and family ask "why?" Why does it all have to happen to us? I can't exactly answer that, but I can say that no matter how hard Satan tries to interfere, we are sill glorifying and praising God! Perhaps that fact alone is the reason! If we touch one lost soul by our love for God despite our challenges, then it is all worth it! These bodies are not our own! They belong to God! He will not give us more than we can handle, and we will not leave us or forsake us! We are his vessels to be the light in the darkness! If we focus only on the darkness, how can we be that light for others? Not receiving healing does NOT equal a lack of faith. I am not saying anyone should claim their problems, but I am saying we should stop focusing on them and start focusing on what is the purpose. How is God using them to his glory? Perhaps when we look at that we'll realize our "problems" aren't as bad as they seem! I have full faith that God's Will will be done, and that it will be the right thing regardless of whether or not it seems "right" to us. And so, that is what I will continue to pray - for God's Will, and for Him to sustain us and give us peace. And He always does! I pray we will always be a light in the darkness.